Amplify! Blog Guest Writer – Ashley Reckdenwald of Working Mom Notes
Women are always looking for the so called “village” but where is it? Do we have to pay for it or not? Over the past several decades, American society has promoted capitalism in exchange for community. In doing so, it has devalued the idea of caring for our children as a collective and has isolated parents.
Some of us find privilege in paying for resources and those resources become our community including nannies, cleaning services, before-and-after care, shopping delivery, and so much more. Others of us find privilege in help and support from family, close friends, and religious affiliations like their church, temple, or mosque.
The village comes in many forms and to define it as one thing only one way doesn’t work. Villages are meant to function as micro-units. They are meant to be unique. We should strive to look at parents who have built successful villages and take the parts that will work for each of us as individuals. There in lies the secret to the village. It doesn’t simply exist one way.
The hardest part? It doesn’t simply appear- you have to build it. So, build it to your specifications.
Is your village paid for or not? I think it’s multi factorial and paying for a village (if you can) shouldn’t be discounted. I hated the idea of paying for my village. It made me feel as if there was no one I could rely on who truly cared about me. But that was simply a narrative I chose to believe instead of looking at the bigger picture and the circumstances of those around me.
To this day, my village is a mix of those I pay to help me and those I’ve built relationships with over the past 8 years of motherhood. Villages take time, so don’t get discouraged. Different seasons call for different levels of village reinforcement.
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