Let’s get something out of the way right now:
Mom Guilt isn’t real.
Parenting guilt? Absolutely.
We all raise our voices sometimes. We act outside of our core values. We replay moments that didn’t sit right and think, I want to do that differently next time. That kind of guilt has a purpose—it’s a compass. It points us back to the kind of parent we want to be.
But Mom Guilt?
That’s an external message, not an internal truth.
Mom Guilt was manufactured by a culture that wants to keep women overfunctioning, over-apologizing, and overextending. It’s rooted in the idea that no matter what you do, it won’t be enough—unless you’re giving every last bit of yourself away.
Let’s release that. This Mother’s Day, and every day after.
You’re Allowed to Make It Your Own
Last year, a fellow parent and I went to Hamburger Mary’s for a drag show on Mother’s Day. It was loud, sparkly, joy-filled, and exactly how I wanted to spend the day. 🌈💃
Later on that rainy day, I snuggled up on the couch with my kids and soaked up their fabulous tiny human energy. That felt good too.
And that duality? That’s the point.
If we’re fine with a dad heading out to the golf course or taking the whole day off to “just do his thing” on Father’s Day, why do we balk when a mother wants to spend a few hours away, fully in herself?
You don’t stop being a parent when you pause for joy, rest, silliness, quiet, community, or champagne at brunch. You just remind yourself that you’re a person—and that person is worthy of celebration too.
To My Queer, Trans, and Non-Binary Parenting Siblings
This weekend may or may not reflect your identity or your role. You might be a parent who doesn’t align with “Mother” or “Father,” or who fits both or neither.
You might be in a two-mom household. Or co-parenting in a queerplatonic dynamic. Or holding space for kids who’ve chosen you as family outside of biology or legality.
If this day is meant to celebrate care, labor, and love—then it’s for you too.
Claim it. Or don’t. Make it yours, or ignore it altogether. There’s no one way to be a parent. There never was.
To Everyone Wanting to Celebrate a Mother or Parent This Sunday…
If you’re thinking: I want to honor her, them, him—amazing.
Now here’s the gentle encouragement: Don’t make them do the work.
- Don’t ask, “What should we do?”
- Don’t make them herd the group text.
- Don’t default to, “Well, let me know what you want and I’ll make it happen.”
Just do it.
Pick up the phone. Make the plans. Book the reservation. Order the groceries. Find out what feels good to them—and then make it happen without a follow-up committee meeting.
Want to give the best gift this year?
Try reducing the mental load. 🧠
Ease some decision fatigue.
Take a little emotional labor off their plate.
And then ask yourself: How can I do this the other 364 days a year too?
This weekend, and always, I’m holding space for you—whatever your role, your longing, your exhaustion, your celebration, your grief, your queer joy, your gentle ache, your tender wins, and your fierce love.
You’re enough. Without guilt. Without apology. And you deserve a day that feels like yours.
Sending my love,
Momma Meg
Amplify Wellness with Meg Duke 