🎂 Today I turn 40. On a Thursday, so you’re getting #FocusFriday a day early.
And don’t worry—this isn’t going to be a list of 40 things I’ve learned or a lengthy look back (although, let’s be real, I could write that post). Instead, I want to use this milestone to talk about what growing older—and hopefully, growing wiser—has taught me about focus.
Turning 40 feels big. Not because I’m worried about getting older (though yes, sometimes my knees make more noise than I do), but because milestones offer a rare chance to zoom out. To reflect. To say: Okay, what’s working? What isn’t? Where is my energy actually going—and is that where I want it to be?
I talk a lot about focus. It’s a throughline in my life, my work, my conversations with clients. But the truth is, focus isn’t something that just arrives with age or experience. You don’t turn 40 and suddenly become a monk with laser attention.
In fact, sometimes it gets harder. More responsibilities. More distractions. More expectations to juggle. More opportunities to feel like you’re behind, or broken, or just not “together” in the way the world says you should be by now.
But here’s what I have learned in 40 years—and what I want to share with you today.
🧠 Focus Isn’t About Trying Harder—It’s About Trying Differently
For so many of us with ADHD or other forms of neurodivergence, we’ve been taught to see our brains as a problem to solve. That we just need the right planner, the right schedule, the right bullet journal, the right color-coded calendar…
But what if focus isn’t something we brute-force into being?
What if it’s something we build gently, moment by moment?
What if it starts with self-trust, not self-pressure?
✨ 7 Focus Truths I’ve Learned in 40 Years
1. Your brain isn’t broken.
It’s responding to a world that wasn’t built for your wiring. You’re not lazy. You’re not unmotivated. You’re often overwhelmed, overstimulated, and trying to do a lot with very little support.
2. Focus is a loop, not a finish line.
You’ll fall off track. You’ll start again. You’ll get distracted. You’ll return. That doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re human.
3. The loudest thing isn’t always the most important.
Urgency doesn’t equal value. Learning to pause and ask “What really matters right now?” is one of the most powerful focus tools there is.
4. Clarity thrives in calm.
If you’re trying to focus in chaos (literal or mental), your brain is already in defense mode. Start with softening your space, body, or expectations.
5. Productivity doesn’t prove your worth.
You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t need to justify stillness. Rest fuels focus. It’s not optional—it’s essential.
6. You can’t pour from an empty brain.
Mental fatigue is real. If your brain feels foggy, it’s not a sign to push harder—it’s a sign to check in with your needs: water, food, sunlight, silence, novelty, connection, movement.
7. Focus blooms when you let yourself feel safe.
Safe to fail. Safe to try again. Safe to do it differently. Safe to be honest about what’s working—and what isn’t.
🎯 What Turning 40 Helped Me See Clearly
I used to feel like I had to do everything. I’d say yes out of fear I’d be left behind. I’d over-function to feel worthy. I’d achieve as a way of focusing—because chaos felt too scary to slow down and face.
But in this season of life, I’m learning something quieter and more grounded:
You don’t need to fix your brain. You need to support it.
With compassion. With curiosity. With actual systems that work for you, not against you.
💛 So, Here’s Your Focus Friday Invitation
Whether you’re turning 40 or 24 or 67, whether you’re navigating ADHD, parenting, big career shifts, or just feeling done with the noise—this is your permission to refocus.
Not on the endless to-do list.
Not on how behind you feel.
But on what feels aligned.
On the tiny daily choices that bring you back to yourself.
🎁 P.S. Grab My Free ADHD Workbook
Need a gentle nudge in the right direction?
Download my free Navigating ADHD Mini Workbook—it’s full of doable exercises to help you cut through the noise, understand your patterns, and build momentum that sticks.
💡 No shame. No pressure. Just a starting point that feels good.
Here’s to focus, fun, and finally trusting your way of being in the world.
From one chaotic and twirly 40-year-old to you—cheers. 🥂
Amplify Wellness with Meg Duke 