Focus Friday: “Taking Up Space” Isn’t Selfish. It’s Self-Respect

Somewhere along the way, so many of us—especially those who are neurodivergent, high-achieving, sensitive, or socialized as female—were given the message that ease equals laziness, that asking equals burden, and that having needs equals being too much.

We absorbed it in classrooms when we were praised for being quiet.
We heard it at jobs when we were told to “just be flexible.”
We felt it in friendships and families when we constantly played the role of the helper, the fixer, the listener, the one who doesn’t need anything in return.

But here’s the truth: You are allowed to take up space.

✨ You are allowed to ask for support before you’re completely depleted.
✨ You are allowed to set boundaries even if people don’t like them.
✨ You are allowed to say “this isn’t working for me,” even if you used to tolerate it.

The tricky part? That internal self-talk. The little voice that says:

“I should be able to handle this.”
“They’ll think I’m selfish.”
“It’s not that bad—I can push through.”

That voice? It’s not the truth. It’s a learned pattern. And it can be unlearned.

Here’s how to begin shifting it:

• Name the old script. Write it out. What are you telling yourself when you hesitate to take up space? Whose voice is it really?
• Challenge the fear. What’s the actual consequence of asking for support? What’s the risk of not asking?
• Rehearse self-affirming responses. Try: “It’s okay for me to have needs.” Or, “Support is a human right, not a reward for burnout.”
• Start small. Set a mini boundary today. Even something like: “I’m not available for spontaneous meetings this afternoon,” or “I’m going to need a few minutes before I respond.”

The world doesn’t need more people pleasing their way into overwhelm. The world needs more of you, exactly as you are—spacious, supported, and unapologetically aligned with what you need.

You’re not being dramatic. You’re not making things up. You’re just finally noticing that your wellbeing matters too.

🌟 Ready to dig deeper into your patterns and reclaim your focus?
Download my free Navigating ADHD Mini Workbook—a gentle, actionable guide to help you identify your stress points, unstick your overwhelm, and move forward with clarity. It’s designed with neurospicy brains in mind. 💛