In a world that often preaches the gospel of positivity, it can be tempting to dismiss or suppress negative emotions. We’re encouraged to “look on the bright side” or “keep a positive attitude,” and while optimism certainly has its merits, denying ourselves the space to feel our full range of emotions can have detrimental effects on our mental and emotional well-being.
Toxic positivity, as it’s commonly referred to, is the habit of invalidating or dismissing negative emotions, either in ourselves or in others. It’s the pressure to put on a smile even when we’re hurting inside, or the expectation that we should always be happy and grateful, regardless of our circumstances. But the truth is, emotions—both positive and negative—are an inherent part of the human experience. Denying ourselves the opportunity to feel the full spectrum of emotions is like trying to paint a masterpiece with only half of the colors on the palette.
So why is it important to allow ourselves to feel negative emotions? Firstly, suppressing or denying our feelings doesn’t make them disappear; it simply buries them beneath the surface, where they can fester and grow into something much more potent. Ignored emotions have a tendency to resurface at the most inconvenient times, often in the form of physical symptoms, anxiety, or depression.
Secondly, acknowledging and honoring our negative emotions is an essential aspect of self-care. Just as we tend to our physical needs when we’re sick or injured, we must also tend to our emotional needs when we’re feeling down or overwhelmed. Giving ourselves permission to feel sad, angry, or anxious is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of strength and self-awareness.
So how do we go about embracing our negative emotions in a healthy way? One approach is to set aside dedicated time each day to simply sit with our feelings. Either in the moment, if you have the freedom to do so, or perhaps scheduled out. This could be as little as two to five minutes, depending on what feels right for you. During this time, allow yourself to experience whatever emotions arise without judgment or criticism. If tears come, let them flow. If anger bubbles up, acknowledge it without acting on it. The key is to observe your emotions without getting swept away by them.
To support this practice, it can be helpful to develop a mantra or tagline to repeat to yourself when you’re in the midst of difficult emotions. Something as simple as “I am allowed to feel my feelings” can serve as a powerful reminder that it’s okay to experience negative emotions and that they are temporary.
Embracing the full spectrum of emotions—including the negative ones—is essential for our mental and emotional well-being. By allowing ourselves the space to feel our feelings without judgment or suppression, we can cultivate greater self-awareness, resilience, and compassion for ourselves and others. The next time you find yourself struggling with negative emotions, remember: it’s okay not to be okay. Take a few minutes to acknowledge your feelings, breathe through them, and then carry on with your day, knowing that you are stronger for having honored your truth.
Life can be a roller coaster of emotions, and understanding your moods is the first step towards a happier, healthier you. Our Free Daily Mood Tracker PDF empowers you to take control of your emotions and live your best life. Click the link below and get started on being more intentional about your relationship with your emotions today!
Amplify Wellness with Meg Duke 