11 Common Problems in Romantic Relationships

Meg DukeNovember 22, 2016November 2, 2016Relationships75287, 75287 counseling, 75287 counselor, 75287 therapist, 75287 therapy, Abuse, accountability, active, active listening, active listening skills, addiction, addison counseling, addison counselor, addison therapist, addison therapy, ADHD, adhd behavior, Adult ADHD, affirmation, affirmations, aging, alcohol addiction, Anger, anger management, Anxiety, ask, attachment, attachment disorder, Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, attitude, authenticity, automobile, behavior, behavior modification, Big Bang Theory, binge, Bipolar, blood flow, body language, boredom, boundaries, brain, breakup, breakups, breathe, breathing, bully, bullying, caffeine, cannabis, car, career, Career Counseling, caregiver, carrollton counseling, carrollton counselor, carrollton therapist, carrollton therapy, CBT, challenge, Change, changes, child, child development, child therapist, child therapy, childhood, children, children therapy, clean living, cognition, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, cognitive restructuring, cognitive therapy, combat, comfort, Communication, competence, compromise, compromising, compulsive, connection, control, controlling emotions, counseling, counseling 75287, counselor 75287, counselor San Antonio, couples therapist, couples therapy, cravings, creativity, critic, criticize, cyber, cyberbully, cyberbullying, cyberspace, dallas counseling, dallas counselor, dallas therapist, dallas therapy, dating, DBT, depressed, Depression, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, diet, dream, dreams, driving, drug addiction, drug and alcohol addiction, early childhood, eating, Eating Concerns, eating disorders, educate, education, Emotion Regulation, emotional abuse, Emotional Intelligence, emotional neglect, Emotions, empath, empathetic, empathy, empowered, empowering, empowerment, encouragement, envy, etiquette, exercise, facts, family, family therapist, family therapy, far north dallas counseling, far north dallas counselor, far north dallas therapist, far north dallas therapy, father, father's day, Fear, feeding, feelings, fitbit, forgive, Forgiveness, gaming, gaslighted, gaslighting, generosity, generous, genes, genetics, get outside, golden years, Grief, grieving, ground yourself, grounding, guest post, guilt, gut, gut bacteria, habit, habits, health, health living, health technology, healthy living, holiday, holiday planning, holiday stress, Hospice, humble, humility, Humor, identify, information, inner critic, Intelligence, internet, internet addiction, intervention, interventions, irrational thoughts, irving counseling, irving counselor, irving therapist, irving therapy, language, language skills, learn, learning, LGBT, LGBTQ, lifespan, living authentically, lon, longevity, loss, love, maladaptive, managing emotions, meditate, meditation, mental health, midlife, Military, mind-body, mindful, Mindfulness, mindfulness in schools, mistakes, modern family, mood disorder, mood disorders, muhammad ali, mutli-tasking, myths, narcissism, narcissistic, narrcissist, negative attitude, netiquette, neurobiology, neuroscience, nightmare, nightmares, nutrition, observe, obsessive compulsive, obsessive compulsive disorder, obssessive, old age, online, open minded, overwhelmed, parent, Parenting, parenting style, parents, parkinson's, parkinson's disease, perception, perfection, Perfectionism, perfectionist, personal tracking tool, personal tracking tools, personality disorder, personality disorders, perspective, plano counseling, plano counselor, plano therapist, plano therapy, Play, Pokémon, Pokémon go, post traumatic stress disorder, Pregnancy, pregnant, problem, progressive muscle relaxation, psychiatric, psychiatry, ptsd, puberty, pure O, Rational Emotive Behavioral Therapy, REBT, recognizing emotions, reframe, reframing, regimen, Relationships, Relaxation, Resilience, response, results, routine, safe driving, San Antonio Counseling, San Antonio Counselor, San Antonio Therapist, San Antonio therapy, school, science, self awareness, self worth, Self-Care, self-centered, self-centeredness, self-compassion, Self-Esteem, Self-Talk, senior citizens, Seniors, sense of humor, sentimental, serotonin, Sexual, sexual abuse, sexual assault, sexual effects, sexual fetish, sexual trauma, sexuality, Shame, signals, Sleep, sleep hygiene, smart, smarter, snacking, Social Media, soldier, soldiers, solve, spiritual, stimulate, stimulation, Stress, stress reduction, structure, Substance Abuse, substance misuse, summer, survive, symptoms, Technology, teenager, teenagers, The Brain, the colony counseling, the colony counselor, the colony therapist, the colony therapy, therapist, therapist 75287, therapist San Antonio, therapy, therapy 75287, therapy San Antonio, thinking, thoughts, tidy, tidying, tips, toxic people, training, Trauma, traumatic, treatment, value, venting anger, verbal, veteran, veteran affairs, Veterans, visualize, vitamin d, weapon, Work/Life, work/life balance, worth

-Tarra Bates-Duford, PhD, MFT

Most couples will experience challenges during the course of a romantic relationship. However, some couples can navigate the challenges better than others. Couples that have built a strong foundation, maintain healthy communication, and remain committed to their partners as well as the relationship usually fair better than couples with a weak foundation and poor communication skills. Couples that can foresee issues in their relationship have a much better chance of overcoming them.

Although, every relationship has its ups and downs, successful couples have learned how to manage the bumps and keep both their love life and the relationship going. Persons with a healthy understanding of the requirements of a relationship will remain committed, tackle problems, and learn how to work through the complex issues of everyday life. Many do this by reading self-help books and articles, attending seminars, going to counseling, observing other successful couples, or simply using trial and error.

Unfortunately, even partners who love each other will have problems in their relationship. Couples that seemingly appear “perfect” can be mismatched, sexually. Sexual mismatch can include contrasts in sexual desire (one partner wanting sex more often than the other), differ in the type pf sex desired (oral, anal, role play, fetishes, etc.), and differences in each partner understanding of intimacy. When there is a lack of sexual self-awareness and education within a relationship, problems typically become more pronounced over time. Having a close, intimate, sexual relationship often brings us closer. The brain releases hormones that benefit our bodies both physically and mentally, allowing partners to build the chemistry needed for a healthy relationship.

11 Common Problems in a Romantic Relationship:

Poor communication or lack of communication. Some couples have marked difficulty expressing their needs in a relationship, avoid talking about them altogether, or are unable to discuss issues in the relationship without becoming combative, defensive, or inappropriate.
Trust. Lack of trust can undermine the very foundation of a relationship by creating or exacerbating pre-existing tension. Trust issues can include lack of faith in a partner’s decision making abilities or being around another man or woman and remaining faithful.
Differences in sexual drives and desires. Many couples will experience a change in sexual frequency and desire as time passes. Family, career, social, and other demands can lead to a shift in priorities, creating additional demands that can affect sexual frequency and desire.
Jealousy and insecurity. Insecure or partners that are jealous are often locked in a dysfunctional cycle anger and animosity. Unfortunately, when there is jealousy in a relationship it is difficult for couples to see past their current problems in a manner that would allow a resolution to the problems.
Money. Money problems are one the most significant factors that can lead to relationship conflict and divorce. Differences in money management skills and styles can lead to a rift in a romantic relationship.
Home responsibilities/chores. Partners that do not have a pre-existing agreement or understanding of personal roles and responsibilities within the home will experience problems in their romantic relationship. Partners that feel they are carrying the bulk of the responsibilities in the home often express feelings of being taken for granted, taken advantage of, or overwhelmed with the additional responsibilities.
Change in priorities. Relationships are expected to enhance who we are as individuals, yet not change who we are at our core. Although, you may be in a relationship, that does not change who you are. As individuals, we evolve and change all the time. You’re not the person you were last year, and you won’t be the person you are now next year.
Time. Change in time and availability can impact our romantic relationships in several different ways, i.e., one partner or both may not have enough time to devote to the other partner or the relationship as they once had, they may no longer spend quality time together, they do not have the time to catch up on their partner’s day or pertinent changes in their life, etc.
Partners drift apart. When partners begin to spend less and less time together, they usually begin to explore interests separately. Some partners may conclude they may not need to be in the relationship anymore as they no longer feel a connection with their partner.
Space and individual growth. Although, this appears to be contradictory to the earlier stated problems in a relationship, too much “togetherness” can lead to feelings of being stifled. When you’re in a committed relationship, spending time with each other is very important to maintaining a relationship. However, spending too much time away from each other can lead to a breakdown in communication, change in priorities, drift, etc.
Falling out of love. Recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting we have fallen out of love with our partner can be a difficult issue to confront. Falling out of love in a relationship is the biggest problem we can face in a relationship, and one that’s hardest to overcome. Falling in love is easy. Staying in love isn’t.

15 Problem-Solving Strategies That can be Used to Improve Your Romantic Relationship:

Do what you say and say what you mean
Be consistent
Be sensitive to your partners concerns and feelings
Carry your fair share of the workload within the relationship and home
Never say mean or malicious things to hurt your partner’s feelings, i.e., never say anything you cannot take back
Don’t overreact when things go wrong.
Do not ruminate on things you cannot change
Don’t dig up old wounds
Avoid talking about relationship problems when angry
Do not lie or use misleading information
Respect your partner’s boundaries
Refrain from jealousy
Communicate your feelings and issues appropriately
Be an even better listener.
Act fairly, even in an argument

Every relationship will experience setbacks and challenges, as no relationships can be perfect. However, that does not mean the relationship will not survive. Conflict and or problems in a romantic relationship are a natural, healthy, and expected part of building a connection with another person. By developing skills to resolve issues in a romantic relationship, you also develop effective techniques to manage future issues that may arise in the relationship. Healthy resolution of problems can lead to stronger, tighter bonds in the relationship.

Published by Meg Duke

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