Anxious Thoughts, Anxious Feelings

For those of us with anxiety, our thoughts can really influence our feelings and behavior. To cope with and overcome anxiety, we need to learn to be mindful of the thoughts we have and how they impact the anxiety we feel. Take this example. You made dinner plans with a friend, but she didn’t showContinue reading “Anxious Thoughts, Anxious Feelings”

How to Make Peace With Something You Cannot Control

Feeling safe when you’re not in control is a valuable skill Source: ibreakstock/Shutterstock Being in control feels safe, you can feel safe when you’re not in control too. The world is unpredictable and your power is limited, so feeling safe without control is a valuable skill. When the world disappoints your expectations, your brain releasesContinue reading “How to Make Peace With Something You Cannot Control”

Ten Kid-Friendly Rules for Texting With Respect and Dignity

How to talk with kids about netiquette and cyberbullying prevention As a School Counselor and educator on the subject of Bullying Prevention, one of the most commonly asked questions I receive is, “What is the “right” age for youngsters to begin texting and using social media?” As with most aspects of child-rearing, there isn’t aContinue reading “Ten Kid-Friendly Rules for Texting With Respect and Dignity”

My Brain Made Me Do It! Neuroscience for Kids Who Need It

How the basics of brain science can help kids change troubled behaviors Several weeks ago, I was sitting in the hallway of my school building talking with a student who was feeling distraught after her involvement in a heated conflict with several classmates.  The young girl had lashed out verbally at a group of studentsContinue reading “My Brain Made Me Do It! Neuroscience for Kids Who Need It”

When Grief Bleeds

Don’t rush. Don’t be startled. Don’t try to trick yourself into feeling happy and well again. In fact, the best thing to do is nothing at all. Breathe into it. Exhale, out loud, if you are up for it. Breathe in freedom. Exhale the captivity grief seems to put your heart into. Accept grief as a toolContinue reading “When Grief Bleeds”

The 7 Rules for Texting in Relationships

6. Don’t let a committee interpret your partner’s text. Source: Syda Productions/Shutterstock While waiting for a table at a busy restaurant the other day, I witnessed a man angrily banging away on his phone. This well-dressed man in a charming suit had a grimace on his face and would pause to look at his phoneContinue reading “The 7 Rules for Texting in Relationships”

Teaching About Social Meanness In Middle School

Developmental insecurity in early adolescence can cause cruelty at school. Several books ago I wrote one, Why Good Kids Act Cruel, to help parents help their early adolescents in middle school deal with mistreatment from social cruelty in any of the five forms it commonly takes: teasing, exclusion, bullying, rumoring, and ganging up. Why isContinue reading “Teaching About Social Meanness In Middle School”

5 Better Ways to Deal With Disappointment

…and why being hard on yourself isn’t part of the solution. When people marry, they are usually determined to make it through thick and thin, impervious to divorce and discontent, even though two out of five couples will separate and only 30 percent will enjoy a happy marriage. Nearly 80 percent of people have an optimism bias when itContinue reading “5 Better Ways to Deal With Disappointment”

4 Ways to Survive Unexpected Situations

Expert advice for maintaining your confidence and finding a positive outcome. Life throws unexpected things at us all the time. Some we like—such as finding a $20 bill on the sidewalk—but many of them we don’t, such as missing a flight due to an extra long line at airport security. Sometimes unexpected events can be muchContinue reading “4 Ways to Survive Unexpected Situations”

The Power of “No”

How rejection can be a positive form of support. When we talk about our most valuable friends, we usually begin by listing those who are kind and caring, there when we need them, and supportive of our choices. While these qualities are certainly important, there is one other type of support from trusted friends, colleagues,Continue reading “The Power of “No””