“The lies most devastating to our self-esteem are no so much the lies we tell as the lies we live.”
I am living a lie when:
- I pretend a love I do not feel
- I pretend an indifference I do not feel
- I laugh when I need to cry
- I spend unnecessary stretches of time with people I dislike
- I am kind to everyone except the people I love
- I fake beliefs to win acceptance
- I allow my silence to imply agreement with convictions I do not share
When I reject myself, I do not grasp that the worst of what I fear from others I have already done to myself – that is, reject me!
When I pretend to be something other than what I am, I cannot win.
For if the false me is accepted, the real me is not; and if the false me is rejected, the real me never even got a shot at being accepted.
If we attach more importance to what other people believe than to what we know to be true, we will not attain authenticity.
Living unathentically is to value a delusion in someone else’s mind above my own knowledge of the truth.
People with low self-esteem have a very low opinion of their own opinion; except their opinion that they’re not “OK!” This opinion is held firmly even in the face of opposing opinions.
-St. Vincent Stress Center